30 Ice Cream Puns

Are you ready to date!? This game will give you the chance to gather two lovebirds together! You need to know lots of things about dating to become successful. Dream Daddy is a game where you play as a Dad and your goal is to meet and romance other hot Dads. You and your daughter have just moved into the sleepy seaside town of Maple Bay only to discover that everyone in your neighborhood is a single, dateable Dad! Will you go out with Teacher Dad? Or any of the other cool Dads in this game? With minigames, sidequests, and a variety of paths and endings, Dream Daddy:

Astronomy Jokes And Humour

November 3, Getty Images If you’re the type of mibster that has knuckled down with a taw and shot for an aggie duck, then you already know quite a bit about mibs. If you’re among the many people who have no idea what any of that means, stick around as we explore the history of marbles. Rolling Through History Believe it or not, but no one really knows where marbles originated.

They’ve been found in the ashes of Pompeii and in the tombs of ancient Egyptians, and they were played with by Native American tribes, so it’s impossible to pin down a precise country of origin. The earliest examples were simply stones that had been polished smooth by a running river, but for centuries artisans made them by hand from clay, stone, or glass.

Bird Puns Here is a collection of bird jokes, ornithology puns and wordplay relating to our feathered friends. From names of people that sound like birds through eggcellent puns there should be something for bird pun fans to peck away at.

What did the artist say to his girlfriend? I really love you with all my art! What book do women like the most? What is loud and obnoxious? Why is life like a penis? Your girlfriend make it hard! How do you know your girlfriend is getting fat? She fits into your wife’s clothes. What does your girlfriend and a condom got in common? If they’re not on your dick they’re in your wallet. What’s 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives your girlfriend wild?

Best Halloween jokes from bad puns to one liners

Because it only has one arm. What is red and drifts over a desert? What is the tallest piece of furniture? Last words of a highly poisonous snake?

Welcome to With any luck, you’ve come here looking for corny jokes. If so, then you’re in the right place. If you’re not sure where to start, try a random joke from the one-liners section.

I have to admit, though, that in my explorations I was obliged to wade through hundreds of really bad puns, which with many a groan I hastened to eliminate from consideration. But my detailed examination also yielded a great many delights. With surprised gratification I learned, for example, that a vampire’s favorite ice cream is veinilla who would’ve thought?! I also admire the cleverness of those anonymous individuals who feel free to make up new words simply for fun—as in one jokester who informs us that monsters can tell their future by reading their “horrorscope.

After all, it is a time when adults can be kids again. In fact, Halloween parties for grown-ups may be just as common as those for children possibly more so? As for the kids? Well, on this particular day they’re given—or they take—the license to become almost literally the very creatures they previously may have most feared. And they’re free to indulge in a joyful silliness that’s a lot less susceptible to parental criticism than otherwise might be the case.

For this is a time when they can do things that ordinarily would be forbidden—or unthinkable: Like dressing up in outrageous not to say, morbid costumes and more or less demanding candy from strangers. I still remember the year when I opened the door to some solitary ghoul and was rather aggressively, I thought greeted with the words “trick or treat! Who knew he’d actually come “armed”?! Still, on this special night of “licenses,” I realized that this to me unruly child was quite within his rights.

The UK’s top jokes

Homophonic[ edit ] The homophonic pun, a common type, uses word pairs which sound alike homophones but are not synonymous. Similarly, the joke “Question: Why do we still have troops in Germany? To keep the Russians in Czech ” relies on the aural ambiguity of the homophones check and Czech. Often, puns are not strictly homophonic, but play on words of similar, not identical, sound as in the example from the Pinky and the Brain cartoon film series:

funny jokes by comedians Previous slide Next slide 1 of View All Skip Ad If you’re looking for rib-tickling one-liners from some of the world’s greatest jokers and wits, you’ve come to.

In honor of our most elemental heh heh science, how about some chemistry jokes? These 15 chemistry jokes and puns are really cheesy and may only have the power to make a chemist laugh, but don’t worry: And maybe even learn something along the way. Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says “I think I’ll have an H2O. H20 is the molecular formula for water. But H2O2 is the molecular formula for hydrogen peroxide, which will kill you if you drink it.

Dating Fails

Explanation In chemistry, an alkane is an organic molecule that contains all Carbon-Carbon single bonds. An alkene is a molecule that contains a carbon-carbon double bond. An alkyne is a molecule that contains a carbon-carbon triple bond. In this joke, the porcupine, porcupene, and porcupyne have spikes that coincide with the number of their bonds. When the electron configuration of an atom is in a ground state, it is at its lowest energy level.

Chemist’s Cocktail Kit on Amazon Stir up some excitement about chemistry at your next party.

Jun 24,  · Sex & Dating. 30 Women on the Most Hilariously Bad Things Guys Have Said During Sex. and when his version of that involves bad puns or .

One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils. A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He sidles up to the bar and announces: Upon regaining consciousness, he saw his brother, a relentless world-class practical joker, sitting at his bed side.

But the hospital was in a real hurry to get the birth certificates filed and since both you and your wife were unconscious, I named them for you. What did you come up with for my son?

Jokes About Dating

Twitter Advertisement Being single and ready to mingle can be tough, hence the growing prevalence of fast and convenient online dating. The problem with online dating sites is that they try to match suitable partners using mathematical formulas. But the real magic is in your first impression, and the following examples show what a striking opener can do for you. Before You Start… Traditionally, pick-up lines are seen as ineffective and juvenile—and in any other context, they would be.

But on Tinder, the rules are different. Since Tinder has become the standard for mobile hookups, pick-up lines are somewhat necessary.

A large collection of short, funny, silly, corny and cheesy jokes that are clean and cute. These riddles, puns and one-liners are suitable for all ages, from kids to adults.

Not good for growth mindset. I sometimes blog about research into IQ and human intelligence. A lot of people find this pretty depressing. This is important and I want to discuss it eventually, but not now. What I want to discuss now is people who feel personally depressed. For example, a comment from last week: Right now I basically feel like pond scum. I hear these kinds of responses every so often, so I should probably learn to expect them.

They seem to me precisely backwards. But first, a comparison: These people get into some pretty acrimonious debates. Overweight people, and especially people who feel unfairly stigmatized for being overweight, tend to cluster on the biologically determined side. And although not all believers in complete voluntary control of weight are mean to fat people, the people who are mean to fat people pretty much all insist that weight is voluntary and easily changeable.

And the same is true of mental illness.

Genius PUNS that are SO BAD THEY ARE GOOD